When Making Space Is Enough

By Laura Melton Tucker, January 27th, 2013

In my blogs I sometimes compare mediation to other things – like the time I compared it to washing spots off the wall, or improvisation, or its similarity (in more ways than spelling!) to meditation. Today, I succumb to the same rhetorical device. Mediation, I proffer, is similar to what a chiropractor does.

A Council Fire For Peace

By Laura Melton Tucker, October 5th, 2012

I was honored to preside over an unusual peace talk last weekend, held in a Victorian manor overlooking the Mississippi. This circle was different than others I’ve facilitated, for there were Hollywood lights, cameramen, and television producers.

A Different Kind of Fall Cleanup

By Laura Melton Tucker, August 30th, 2012

Labor Day weekend signals the end of summer – a season of getting out of our boxes (think house or office cubicle) to see things afresh. It also signals the beginning of fall – a return to schedules and the structure imposed by school, extra-curricular activities and regular bedtimes. I admit I love throwing out the schedule for at least a few weeks out of the summer.

Conflict Mapping and Mediation – Two Paths to Clarity

By Laura Melton Tucker, May 31st, 2012

Word of mouth is the best advertisement. Recent clients heard about conflict mapping* from their friends, which I offer in my mediation practice in addition, and as an alternative, to standard mediation. This couple hoped conflict mapping would help them decide whether to stay married. They came separately to my office, told the story of their conflict from their perspective, and then met together to see graphical representations – maps – of their conflict.

Mediation – Facebook Style!

By Laura Melton Tucker, March 31st, 2012

If you’re reading this blog, there’s a good chance you’re one of the 800 million Facebook users who log on to check out what your friends are up to. Perhaps you’ve also once discovered – horrors! – a TERRIBLE picture of yourself posted for the world (“or at least friends of friends,”) to see. What to do? You can look for a little “X” to delete the photo, but you won’t find one. Instead you click a button that says, “report this photo.”

Moving from Knowing to Learning – The Magic of Mediation

By Laura Melton Tucker, January 27th, 2012

It is a privilege to sit inside of a conflict, which is what I do as a mediator. Or rather, on a GOOD day, it’s what I do. A bad day for a mediator is when the conflict never shows up in all its layers and complications. I had two of these kinds of mediations recently. Each one felt like a blow to the chest…or, (same locale but more descriptive)…to my heart.

A Mediation Story With Some Holiday Cheer

By Laura Melton Tucker, November 15th, 2011

…The shift in a mediation session occurs when parties loosen their grip on an idea…when they let go their attachment to a view to consider a new perspective or a creative compromise. I feel honored to observe this happening at the mediation table. One couple, in particular, comes to mind. Here’s their story…

80 Extra Steps

By Laura Melton Tucker, September 8th, 2011

My husband and I were lucky enough this summer to attend an adult version of “summer camp.” We accepted a gracious offer to stay in a family member’s vacant high rise condominium, overlooking all of downtown Portland, Oregon. We stayed for 5 weeks and entertained 13 visitors. Our adventures were of all types – physical (lots of hiking and crazy yoga with youngsters), emotional (you try being middle aged and plunking yourself down in a new city with few reference points) and spiritual (opportunities for deep connections with visiting friends and family). One of the spiritual adventure days is a story worth telling.

Thought Forms and How Thoughts Form – The Alchemy of Mediation

By Laura Melton Tucker, July 23rd, 2011

…It occurs to me that my dirty wall is a lot like mediation. An old problem that feels unsolvable transforms when new information and the perspective of a stranger viewing from the outside mix together. Most clients begin a mediation saying, “There is no hope that things are going to change.” And then they start talking. New information comes forward…a compromise not offered before, an expression of feelings, an admission of responsibility or an apology…

Mediation: The Promise of the Promise

By Laura Melton Tucker, May 30th, 2011

Today I share one of my favorite mediation stories about clients whose success still makes me smile. Theirs is an example of why mediation is the optimal way to resolve problems. First the story, followed by the takeaway.

As a mediator, I rarely hear details about a conflict over the telephone before I meet clients. I prefer this “blind” approach because I enter mediations without preconceived notions. Furthermore, I don’t want either party to feel like I’ve listened to complaints or judgments behind the other’s back. Keeping the pre-mediation conversation to a minimum helps me maintain both real and perceived neutrality.

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